Now you are free

“Now you’re free….” The nurse said. I always look forward to hearing those words but in this instance it was all wrong. Instead of being at the end of my dialysis treatment it was at the beginning.

I had a big day coming up. Dialysis, lunch with some of the family, final preparations for a weekend trip, work through the evening, then drive an hour and a half to my event hoping to be there before 10:00pm. SO, at 6:15am, the idea of being free did not compute.

Her full statement was “now you’re free, to begin your activities without my interference.” Those activities include using my laptop to accomplish various work-related activities. Being human I can admit to doing some personal activities as well. I read my email, surf several news sites and read a couple of daily columns I like. But this is another place where life is interesting.

Because my dialysis access is in my right arm, and of course I’m right handed, whatever I try and do I have to do left handed. As soon as I sit down they take over my right arm to disinfect, insert the needle catheters, hook up the necessary tubing and set the pressures on the pump. On my left arm they attach the automatic blood pressure cuff. After that, I’m welcome to do whatever I wish. So, with my left arm, I set the laptop up on the arm of the recliner and achieve just the right balance, open it, log on work to my heart’s content with the single tool I have, the forefinger of my left hand. (If you thing 2 finger typing is slow, try one, wrong, finger.)

Some who read this will think, “what a bummer”. But given the alternatives I’m saying what a winner! I’m not in a nursing home or hospital, not dead, and when I’m not hooked up to a machine my life is pretty normal. I can chase and play with my granddaughters, work in the yard and around the house, hide from my wife, go camping with the boys program I’ve been part of for years. I CAN be normal, or at least as normal as I’m capable of.

My daily bible reading has me in Samuel reading about the exploits of David. David’s big entrance is of course his battle with Goliath. In providing his “credentials” to King Saul he says “I killed the lion, I killed the bear, this heathen is no big deal.” And everyone says YEAH!! The other way of reading it is; “I’m only a boy living out in the wilderness alone watching over sheep. The days and nights are long and lonely. I don’t want to disappoint my dad and the responsibility is huge. And there are lions and bears, oh my. I’ve even had to defend myself and my flock. Being a shepherd is rough but I’m stuck with it because of the being the youngest.” No, instead, he focuses on his circumstances as opportunities to grow, to accomplish, and to get closer to God.

Yes I’m free, but it has nothing to do with the mechanical cleansing of my blood. It has only to do with the shed blood of Jesus that pays for my sins and guarantees me the privilege of being part of the family of God. Since I got cleansed that way the worst that can happen is that I’ll leave this world and my family behind until we’re all gathered around His throne in Glory.