Which scripture to use?

Jesus taught us to go to a brother that has a grievance against me and He taught us to go to a brother we have been offended by, in both cases to "work it out".  In either case He meant for it to be done quickly before the smoldering problem could catch fire.

I don't know how you react in these situations but I generally drag my feet, recite scripture in my mind that fortifies my point, then lose sleep.  A situation that occurred to me yesterday was playing in wide screen in my mind at midnight and would not let me sleep.  Finally I got out of bed and went to the family room to "unwind".  Unwinding consisted of recognizing that while I had been hurt "my brother" probably didn't realize it.  "Unwinding" kept saying, 'you didn't ask the right question/s, you weren't clear'.  It also recognized that my 'brother' had information he didn't share.  Could have, should have, even perhaps would have if I had made the effort to discuss fully the situation and he had responded fully.  In the end I had said no more than necessary and his response was the same, no more than necessary.  So as the result of our 'economizing' our words and thoughts I'm losing sleep because I'm hurt and even a bit embarrassed at the situation and I can only imagine that he is sleeping like a baby.  When I'm able to release the emotion that is stirring this pot I, too, am finally off to sleep.


Now, another day has come, the situation remains and I'm thinking of how I can resolve the feelings I'm having.  How can I broach the subject with my 'brother', come to a resolution and model Christ in the process?  What I want to model is platting a whip and driving the offender out.  Unfortunately (in my mind) resolution doesn't warrant that type of response.  Jesus was able to spend time with 'sinners' like Zacchaeus and treat them so purely that they jumped at a chance to make things right.  I must be as pure in sharing my problem with my brother and be willing to leave the result in God's hands.  After all, that is the point.